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YourBonusMom's avatar

OOF. I really feel this so much. Both from the perspective of a (former) wife to a man who refused to do any emotional work and expected me to mother him (while being abused by him) and as the “good friend” who was always the listening ear. I also found myself being unpaid childcare for married women who saw my SAHM status as being constantly available to watch their kids (“play dates”) while they snatched some time for themselves and their husbands were off doing whatever (but not caring for their own kids). Patriarchy just has no boundaries whatsoever, it’s a social and emotional cancer that consumes everything it touches. I’m with you…freshly divorced with a YA child now I am making sure that the care flows both ways in my friendships now.

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Canyiva's avatar

This is timely for me. I just lost a friend after I expressed to her that the dynamics of our relationship had pegion-holed me into the role of an emotional caretaker on matters to do with her marriage. I expected loss of the friendship to disable me emotionally for a while as has happened before when I lost another friend, but I am surprised how much better I feel emotionally.

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