Why autistic loneliness isn’t just about being alone, it’s about being unseen, navigating social exhaustion, and the weight of one-sided relationships.
In the past I have had that painful moment of realisation "they are my friends but I am only an acquamtance" or "this is a social club not a community". The breakdown of a facebook group led to me having a breakdown - they were my chosen family.
Now, now I recognise that I am scarred and jaded and grumpy 😂 I guess I gave up at some point, but I have recently decided to open myself up a bit, with 'sharp boundaries' and things feels better, the lonliness is not so intense.
I listened to this this evening and it just reminded me of how burnt out I became, of how much of myself (everything) I put in and how glad I am to be able to approach connection more safely.
Thank you, another fantastic post, I feel really good to have discovered you. I have been sharing your work around as I think it will resonate with them too.
I can’t tell you how much this resonates with me. Thank you for putting into words what I’ve been feeling but couldn’t express. I just found your page, and it already feels like a safe space.
wow this was so eye opening. i’m not diagnosed but i know genetically and the way i learn there’s something neurodivergent there. but lately i’ve been seeing myself stay quiet or asking a lot of questions to the people around me i call friends but it not being reciprocated. idk how to express these feelings thou so i either just stay quiet or ask them many questions
Thank you for articulating this pain that I feel around holding space for others and wanting to understand their inner worlds, and not having that curiosity reciprocated. Like you, I also have a rich inner landscape that I would love to share with others, but I find that not only are they not interested in this sort of exchange, but it seems many people don't know themselves in this sort of way and are not curious about themselves and the world. Humans weren't meant to go through life alone, but when I am around others I often feel diminished and more invisible than I do when I am enjoying my solitude. Thanks for making me feel seen.
I’m really glad the episode resonated with you. That feeling of holding space for others while rarely having that same curiosity extended back can be deeply isolating. It’s something I’ve wrestled with too—realizing that many people don’t engage with their own inner world in the same way, let alone someone else’s. It can be disheartening, but I think there’s something powerful in finding others who do see and understand this experience. You’re definitely not alone in it, and I appreciate you sharing your thoughts here.
This was very powerful and necessary. It's been so hard, queen. I'm late diagnosed and the unmasking has come with multiple reckonings. 🥺❤️
I thoroughly enjoyed and related to much of what you have spoken off here. I experience an awful lonliness most evenings that comes from a few places (If it interests you I wrote about it here https://open.substack.com/pub/bramblesandthorns/p/id-like-you-more-if-you-were-a-cat?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=57gevm) and one them is not being deeply connected to another person atm.
In the past I have had that painful moment of realisation "they are my friends but I am only an acquamtance" or "this is a social club not a community". The breakdown of a facebook group led to me having a breakdown - they were my chosen family.
Now, now I recognise that I am scarred and jaded and grumpy 😂 I guess I gave up at some point, but I have recently decided to open myself up a bit, with 'sharp boundaries' and things feels better, the lonliness is not so intense.
I listened to this this evening and it just reminded me of how burnt out I became, of how much of myself (everything) I put in and how glad I am to be able to approach connection more safely.
Thank you, another fantastic post, I feel really good to have discovered you. I have been sharing your work around as I think it will resonate with them too.
I can’t tell you how much this resonates with me. Thank you for putting into words what I’ve been feeling but couldn’t express. I just found your page, and it already feels like a safe space.
I felt every word you said. Thank you for sharing this 🥹
Thank you Amber ❤️❤️
also thank you for making this an audio !
For real? I had to get it off my chest ✨🙏🏾
wow this was so eye opening. i’m not diagnosed but i know genetically and the way i learn there’s something neurodivergent there. but lately i’ve been seeing myself stay quiet or asking a lot of questions to the people around me i call friends but it not being reciprocated. idk how to express these feelings thou so i either just stay quiet or ask them many questions
So so so relatable ! Very well articulated, the absence of depth and curiosity can be deafeningly loud.
And we can be so adaptable people fill in the gap and we just fall in the gap empty… lonely. I can’t anymore. ❤️
Thank you for articulating this pain that I feel around holding space for others and wanting to understand their inner worlds, and not having that curiosity reciprocated. Like you, I also have a rich inner landscape that I would love to share with others, but I find that not only are they not interested in this sort of exchange, but it seems many people don't know themselves in this sort of way and are not curious about themselves and the world. Humans weren't meant to go through life alone, but when I am around others I often feel diminished and more invisible than I do when I am enjoying my solitude. Thanks for making me feel seen.
I’m really glad the episode resonated with you. That feeling of holding space for others while rarely having that same curiosity extended back can be deeply isolating. It’s something I’ve wrestled with too—realizing that many people don’t engage with their own inner world in the same way, let alone someone else’s. It can be disheartening, but I think there’s something powerful in finding others who do see and understand this experience. You’re definitely not alone in it, and I appreciate you sharing your thoughts here.
Thank you ✨