How Unhealed Trauma Becomes Harmful Behavior Especially Online. You say you’re healing. But your inner child is still dysregulating on people. Still silencing. Still spiraling. This isn’t growth. It’s reenactment—again. Unhealed trauma often repeats itself. This post explores how survival becomes reenactment—and what real accountability to your inner child looks like.
That's a powerful piece. I love the energy. And so often what I want to tell people who lash out and hurt everyone around them. Thank you for naming all that.
Thank you. That means a lot because so many of us feel the harm but struggle to name it without being cast as cruel or “too much.” And yet, some people are reenacting what broke them and calling it healing.
Naming it doesn’t mean we lack compassion it means we refuse to be the collateral.
Every time I read one of your articles I am touched in some way. Whether it's an "Aha" or an "Oh Shit," you seem to have an uncanny ability to find all the spots and put image balls into words. Each time I reread an article, I glean yet another gem or forehead smack, sometimes both.
Just yesterday I told someone that when I parented my children (now grown), I parented my inner child as well. It took me years and a lot of reflection/labor to come to that understanding. Your article upped the ante. Thank you for pushing the spots and sharing your labor.
Thank you and yes, parenting children can absolutely awaken that inner child work. But what I’ve noticed, and what I’m naming in this piece, is that some folks do that beautifully at home and still reenact harm elsewhere, often where over others they hold power over.
They soothe their inner child with their kids, but their dysregulated parts show up in professional spaces, online spaces, or intercommunity dynamics especially when discomfort is mirrored back to them by someone more marginalized.
It’s not always conscious. But it is patterned. And we don’t talk enough about how reparenting must extend beyond the safe relationships we feel in control of.
I’m so glad this one landed. Thank you for sitting with it.
I hear you and will reflect on my actions towards others in that respect. I do not wish to cause harm with my words/actions, and do wish to be conscious of harm caused by others so that I may be able to help break the cycle.
That’s all we can do. I too am capable of causing harm I wrote this from my perspective past future and current a reminder no one is infallible how we react when alerted is what matters those are the moments I hold my inner child and model behaviour I wish others did. How she sees me matters she is calm when she sees me take accountability and knows it won’t kill us. We also deserve that when harmed.
i’ve been in rooms, relationships, whole damn seasons of my life where my inner child was running the show. scared, reactive, desperate to feel safe. and i didn’t even know it. i thought i was just “being me.” but learning to pause and ask: who’s driving right now? that changed everything.
That's a powerful piece. I love the energy. And so often what I want to tell people who lash out and hurt everyone around them. Thank you for naming all that.
Thank you. That means a lot because so many of us feel the harm but struggle to name it without being cast as cruel or “too much.” And yet, some people are reenacting what broke them and calling it healing.
Naming it doesn’t mean we lack compassion it means we refuse to be the collateral.
I’m glad this one found you.
Every time I read one of your articles I am touched in some way. Whether it's an "Aha" or an "Oh Shit," you seem to have an uncanny ability to find all the spots and put image balls into words. Each time I reread an article, I glean yet another gem or forehead smack, sometimes both.
Just yesterday I told someone that when I parented my children (now grown), I parented my inner child as well. It took me years and a lot of reflection/labor to come to that understanding. Your article upped the ante. Thank you for pushing the spots and sharing your labor.
Thank you and yes, parenting children can absolutely awaken that inner child work. But what I’ve noticed, and what I’m naming in this piece, is that some folks do that beautifully at home and still reenact harm elsewhere, often where over others they hold power over.
They soothe their inner child with their kids, but their dysregulated parts show up in professional spaces, online spaces, or intercommunity dynamics especially when discomfort is mirrored back to them by someone more marginalized.
It’s not always conscious. But it is patterned. And we don’t talk enough about how reparenting must extend beyond the safe relationships we feel in control of.
I’m so glad this one landed. Thank you for sitting with it.
I hear you and will reflect on my actions towards others in that respect. I do not wish to cause harm with my words/actions, and do wish to be conscious of harm caused by others so that I may be able to help break the cycle.
That’s all we can do. I too am capable of causing harm I wrote this from my perspective past future and current a reminder no one is infallible how we react when alerted is what matters those are the moments I hold my inner child and model behaviour I wish others did. How she sees me matters she is calm when she sees me take accountability and knows it won’t kill us. We also deserve that when harmed.
Hope that makes sense ❤️
It makes all kinds of sense. ❤️
Wow. It sang so many truths. Thank you so much for this piece and your work 🕊️
Thank you Lana!
I always say once you see somethings you can’t unsee them anymore when people exhibit the signs. ❤️
i’ve been in rooms, relationships, whole damn seasons of my life where my inner child was running the show. scared, reactive, desperate to feel safe. and i didn’t even know it. i thought i was just “being me.” but learning to pause and ask: who’s driving right now? that changed everything.
amazing writing. 🖤