Self-Care That Makes Sense for Autistic and Neurodivergent Women
I’m Lovette Jallow, autistic, ADHD, and committed to sharing tools that center self-respect, not self-optimization. I write for those of us who live at the intersection of sensory overwhelm, survival planning, and emotional nuance.
This series offers short-form strategies rooted in lived experience, disability awareness, and autonomy designed for autistic and neurodivergent women who are tired of generic advice.
Take what works (Love it/Love(tte), you get it). Adapt what fits. Leave the rest (Leave it).
It’s not about performing wellness. It’s about protecting your peace.
Each piece offers direct, sensory-considerate, and emotionally honest practices that reflect how we actually live not how others expect us to.
If this is your first time here, welcome. And if it feels unfamiliar or uncomfortable, know it’s still for you.
Self-Care Across Time: A Life Hack for Autistic Women
My latest neurodivergent life hack?
Thinking of myself in past, present, and future tense. Not fixing things for others but just showing up for myself across time.
Here’s how it plays out:
Current me: “Oh no… future Lovette is due on in a few days.”
Cue action mode to mitigate and prepare:
Fresh sheets
Face masks
Diapers/Pads stocked
Cookie hidden by the bed
Medicine and vitamins stocked.
Kindle charged
Favorite foods prepped and frozen
House tidied, potpourri scented
Then the day arrives.
I’m tired. Overstimulated. In Pain. Emotional. Avoiding everyone.
But when I look around, past Lovette already showed up. She left snacks. She lit incense. She even placed a fresh “diaper” in reach, like the thoughtful autistic queen she is.
The foresight? Elite. The execution? Neurodivergent excellence.
She also blocked annoying people from my DMs, set auto-replies, and cleared my inbox. I didn’t have to ghost anyone—she already handled it. I uphold those boundaries so she doesn’t have to return and deal with repair, anxiety, or cleanup.
Creating an Internal Support System When External Help Is Lacking
Right now, I’m folding the softest PJs while watching Disney not just for comfort, but because past Lovette asked for it. She hates doing laundry when ADHD hits, but she’s great with dishes when my autistic texture sensitivities spike during chronic illness.
This is how I care for myself in shifts. It’s a partnership with myself. It’s practical love.
This Is About Safety, Not Productivity: Why I Build in Advance
This isn’t about being high-functioning, ultra-organized, or performing some commercialized version of self-care.
It’s not aspirational. It’s survival.
I’m disabled. I lack consistent support. So I’ve had to build systems that preempt collapse because no one’s coming to catch me when I hit the edge.
I developed this rhythm after years of burnout, shutdowns, and carrying more than I ever should have loving others in their languages while abandoning my own.
This is a trauma-informed, neurodivergent structure I use to protect my future self. To stay emotionally intact. To reduce overwhelm before it becomes crisis.
Recognizing Real Care: What Practicing Self-Compassion Taught Me
Whether you’re partnered, poly, or single by choice you are or can be the curator of your love language (non commercialized). And you practice it on yourself first.
My philosophy:
I care and show grace for myself across past, present, and future so I can recognize what real care feels like when it shows up—whether in friendship, business, or romance. I also know when it doesn’t, and when it needs gentle redirection.
What’s one small thing your past self could do for your future self this week?
Think sensory. Think soothing. Think realistic.
Try it once, and let yourself feel what it’s like to be cared for by you. How does your love feel to you?
That’s it for this round of Love(tte) or Leave It: Life Hacks: where you can love it and use it, tweak it to fit your life, or leave it for someone else who might need it.
Short. Sensory-safe. Neurodivergent-approved.
See you next time, when past you might just surprise you.
Want more writing on autism, burnout, and neurodivergent survival?
If this resonated, you might also appreciate these essays and podcasts on being Neurodivergent.
To book me for keynotes, panels, or consulting:
If you're an organization, institution, or collective committed to real change not checkbox diversity you can contact me directly: [https://lovettejallow.com/] | [Lovette@Lovettejallow.com]
I speak internationally on subjects including but not limited to African matriarchal systems, Fulani governance, neurodivergence in pre-colonial societies, anti-racism, intersectionality, and structural violence.
My talks draw from lived experience, academic research, and cultural fluency across seven languages. I do not dilute or perform knowledge for spectacle. I teach from lineage, not theory.
Who is Lovette Jallow?
Lovette Jallow is one of Scandinavia’s most influential voices on systemic racism, intersectional justice, and human rights. A nine-time award-winning author, keynote speaker, lecturer, and humanitarian, she specializes in neurodiversity, workplace inclusion, and structural policy reform.
Lovette brings an unmatched perspective rooted in both lived experience and professional expertise. Her work bridges the gap between theory, research, and action, helping organizations move beyond performative diversity efforts toward sustainable, structural change.
Her expertise has been sought by global publications like The New York Times, on high-profile legal cases, and by international humanitarian organizations, where she has provided critical insights on racial justice, policy reform, and equity-driven leadership.
Follow Lovette Jallow – DEIB Strategist, Keynote Speaker & Humanitarian:
Website: lovettejallow.com
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/lovettejallow
Instagram: instagram.com/lovettejallow
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