Explore how African languages have long embraced gender-neutral pronouns and fluid identities, challenging Western gender binaries. Is the West evolving or just reinventing what Africa knew all along?.Professor Oyèrónkẹ́ Oyẹwùmí’s work on African gender epistemologies offers valuable insights into this topic
I am in love with what you’re doing, and in this piece as well. As someone who is on a journey to decolonise her life, it made me so angry to find out just how much the West had taken and repackaged from the rest of the world. Calling our cultures primitive, erasing us with their values, made us adopt and normalise them, and then “reinstalling” those same values they called primitive and rebranding it as human rights, all while trying to paint themselves as the usher of a better, inclusive world. The concept and language of gender, especially, is one of those that I had learned about, but this is my first time reading it from an African lens — it was such an enlightening read, thank you!
Thank you so much I really appreciate that. It says a lot that even without using “he” or “she,” just “they” or a person’s name, gender isn’t erased it’s simply not centered. And that absence isn’t a loss; it’s a different way of seeing each other. I’m glad that came through in the piece. 🙏🏾✨
You’re responding to a post about non-gendered pronouns in African languages which is a linguistic and structural point not a denial of patriarchy or gendered violence. Those realities can (and do) coexist. Language systems lacking gendered pronouns doesn’t mean gender roles or gendered harm didn’t exist. It means they were not always codified the way English or colonial systems demanded.
FGM, which my own family has fought against for generations, reflects social control over assigned-female bodies but that control didn’t always map onto binary gender language or Western frameworks. You’re collapsing different systems language, ritual, power into a single argument that doesn’t hold.
You might want to reread the piece. The nuance is there. The history? Also there. What’s not there is the need to perform superiority in a space where the lived experience already speaks louder. It shows your fragility and limited understanding of a very nuanced piece of writing with books referenced I doubt you have read and your lack… its very loud Liv.
Thank you for this fascinating article! My academic background is in East Asian languages (I’m a native English speaker) and I’ve been amazed at how native English speakers freak out about gender expansive pronouns when there are literally hundreds of languages in which they are simply normal and fundamental. I know little about African languages and this piece was a delicious educational experience to read. ❤️
I love how autistics are characterized as rigid and while reading some of the comments, I'm seeing rigidity, but it's not coming from us autistics. Western culture is rife with it.
In reference to your thoughts about how trans people are very attached to their pronouns. To me, this is a trauma response built in a world view that has been shaped to see only 2 options. I am speaking from personal experiences, so my views may not align with others. I used to think if one person was bad, their counterpart must be the good one. Likewise, when I was a teen and feeling very confused about my gender I despised being seen as a girl. I still have stretches of time where I "feel" more male, (whatever the hell that is supposed to feel like anyway) other times I love a good Morticia Adams style dress. I gradually moved into gender fluidity rather than being stuck on one or the other, but someone who is in survival mode, because that's what stress does to us, isn't thinking about more options. They need to fight for what they feel within the available options. Western society dictates there are only 2. So if these individuals had NOT experienced these traumas and societally limiting lived experiences, they may be less reactional about pronouns. They will have already felt SEEN, and no longer feel the need to necessarily cling to an opposite option. It's the act of not being seen. The invalidation. But it is, in my mind, what is directly affected by being misgendered.
As well, someone who absolutely cannot fathom someone NOT feeling intrinsically one or the other won't understand, so the trans person is maybe required to do some mental and emotional gymnastics to validate themselves and explain to others. So we assume because the other can't understand, we must be incorrect and assume the opposite gender role in oder to explain, but now we are putting ourselves in a box too. Because we're denied our self so often, we dig in with our heels and become the epitome of that gender.
Just my ideas, given my experiences in life and how I have sometimes felt so different from what people expected me to feel that if I found ANYTHING that slightly resembled me, I embodied it. Trauma and reactivity. Survival mode creates rigidity and needing to be externally validated. When we are faced with the opposite, we become more insistent on our preferred gender.
So in my opinion, if we embraced more of these so called "primitive cultures" and learned a thing or two from their wisdom, maybe we would heal some wounds, make people feel seen and not NEED to insist someone get our pronouns correct. We would already know our truth.
Complaining WE (autistics) are rigid and needing to put everyone in a defined box is wild to me. The comment about needing to have all this info squared away right at birth got me thinking.
Thank you. This was an extremely interesting and thought provoking article.
Thank you for your thoughtful reflection. I completely understand what you’re saying about the rigidity that can arise from trauma and survival mode. It’s true that trauma responses often push people into the limited binary gender roles provided by society, and that’s a real challenge for many.
However, when discussing rigidity in autistics, it’s important to recognize that this isn’t just about cultural limitations or trauma; it’s a neurological aspect that has been understood and respected throughout history, even in ancient African cultures. IlThe idea of rigidity in thinking, particularly among neurodivergent individuals, isn’t new it’s not only recognized in the DSM but also aligns with how neurodiversity has been understood for centuries. This rigidity isn’t inherently negative; it’s part of how we process the world, and in many cultures, including African ones, it was often seen as an asset rather than a flaw. I research and write about this I might do a podcast or article on this soon.
As for gender, I completely agree that it is expansive. While there is rigidity in how autistics often think, that doesn’t mean we can’t be flexible in our understanding of other concepts, including gender. In fact, many African cultures have long embraced non-binary and fluid gender identities, with the use of “they/them” pronouns being an example of how language itself was structured to reflect a broader, more inclusive understanding of gender. Which was helpful for us autistics too and made us feel supported in community. This fluidity is a part of the richness of African cultural frameworks that challenge the rigid, binary understanding of gender seen in Western society.
So, while we acknowledge the trauma and rigidity that may arise from societal expectations, it’s crucial to honor the expansiveness of gender identities and the long history of fluidity in cultures that didn’t rely on rigid classifications. Autistic thinking may be structured, but that doesn’t preclude a deeper understanding of complexity and diversity whether in gender or other aspects of human experience. The west makes it a choice system when it doesn’t have to be and excludes us on top of it which is traumatic. I look feminine but I act masculine because both exist in me and all humans why do we have to pick and decide and also face mistreatment because of it. That’s why I am inclusive by choice and behaviour exclusionary is a choice I won’t tolerate around me. ❤️🫂
I agree. There are so many factors that all spill into it.
My comment on rigidity though I'm not sure if I was very articulate on. I actually don't feel like our thinking is quite as rigid as we are "made out to be." We are characterized and stereotyped with very rigid behaviours as if those behaviors (wants, needs) don't have any value or reason for being. The same way it is devalued that someone doesn't align with the outward appearance of their sex. I personally believe neurotypicals are just as rigid in their thinking, it's just in differing areas. All of us could work together so much better, everyone filling a different but equally important niche, if we could just acknowledge differences without denoting less worth because they're not OUR group. This kinda goes past gender but fits in that as well.
Anyway I shall shut up now. Thank you so much for your reply. I love reading things that make me dig deep.
No never shut up EVER! Keep talking and speaking and writing because i wanna hear it all. Whoever told you not to speak needs to go away 🫢 people should talk and give context and whoever is confused can ask for clarification. No one has been harmed by context thats why i am here and not twitter anymore abandoning my 20 000 plus followers. I like longform 😭
Wonderful thought-provoking thesis! Your work immediately triggered my response “Gender is a tool of war and domination.”. Many western philosophers studied in the Mystery schools of KMT. I believe Plato studied for over 20 years. So, it is not surprising “Symposium” 385 bc - 370 bc addressed the origin of gender in the Aristophanes myth. Many look to the gender origin story as a quest to find soulmates but the gender split story is far more sinister in this context!
We all know now philosophy and mythology creates the foundation of civilizations. So of course to upend African Civilizations, you must begin at its foundation and destroy and distort their mythologies. I’m reminded of how Cult of Isis (Aset) had the Greeks and Romans in a chokehold for the first century. But I digress. 😉 Just know you’ve added a missing piece to my African Diaspora puzzle of “How the Hell did We Get Here”
Really enjoyed this piece especially since it’s right in the gap-spaces I live every day! You remind me that part of how I managed to have a double life as a teenager was due to the convenient gender-neutral pronouns in Mandarin Chinese haha! I never had to say “he” or “she” and was technically never lying 😅
Jokes aside, French was the first real language I personally had to contend with for the gender thing, particularly nouns. It will never be something normal for me, but it’s produced some interesting conversations as many French speakers have told me for instance, the table is “obviously” feminine (no, it’s not). I will never know what it’s like to actually see the world in such a binary and sometimes wonder if it’s because my native languages didn’t include this base structure (the use of “they” was perfectly acceptable despite it being deemed academically incorrect). Of course people can exist in spite of their own language restrictions but there is something to be said about being an outlier vs. a language having the space for many different versions of people.
LOL at that last part! Thanks for writing even though it’s late! I will be sharing (a lot) 💛
I think Western society has gotten fixated and dependent on assigning so much to us at birth. Gender, economic station, and even our gods. They are all theirs and we are compelled to take what we're "given." The bias they instill wherever possible suggests that they are at the vanguard and other views are primitive, but is that true?
"My point, once again, is not that those ancient people told literal stories and we are now smart enough to take them symbolically, but that they told them symbolically and we are now dumb enough to take them literally." ~ John Dominic Crossan
I think the most jarring revelation I had lately is that we are assigned our gods, too. What would happen if we weren't? What if we were told we had the agency to create and shape and define our own gods, goddesses and godfolx? If we learned we could create our deities, that would mean that, in a sense, we are all Creators - and that we are all sacred, divine, holy and to be revered...but capitalism and colonialism could not withstand such wisdom, can it?
So, instead, all of it is assigned to us, rationed, if you will, like toiletries and striped jumpsuits. Trans folx asserting their identities is a threat because that chips away at the primacy of the assignors.
The wisdom of the ancients may not be recorded on graph paper, and it may not be expressed with the data points that Western academics insist on, but that does not mean it is lagging behind. Some of the false narrative as to what is "primitive" may be owing to a bias for presentation and documentation that confirms to Western standards, but much of it, I am coming around to realize, is owing to a fear of widespread liberation should people come around to respecting both the wisdom and values of "primitive or "ancient" schools of thought that could crush capitalism if they took root.
This all of it! This is exactly it. The West’s obsession with assigning identities at birth—whether gender, social status, or even belief systems comes from a need to control, not from any inherent truth. It’s a rigid framework designed to limit, rather than reflect, the expansiveness of human existence.
Even gender reveals are a strange ritual when you think about it celebrating a child’s private parts before they’ve even had a chance to define themselves. It’s less about honoring life and more about reinforcing a binary system that was never universal to begin with.
The idea that identity, faith, and even autonomy must be assigned rather than discovered is the foundation of colonialism and capitalism—both of which rely on people believing they have no choice but to accept what’s handed to them. But what happens when people refuse? When they reclaim their agency and self-definition? That’s the real threat. Because once people realize they are sacred, divine, and whole on their own terms, the systems built on hierarchy and control start to unravel.
Ancient wisdom isn’t behind—it was simply never meant to be understood through the limited, Western lens that now struggles to catch up.
I am in love with what you’re doing, and in this piece as well. As someone who is on a journey to decolonise her life, it made me so angry to find out just how much the West had taken and repackaged from the rest of the world. Calling our cultures primitive, erasing us with their values, made us adopt and normalise them, and then “reinstalling” those same values they called primitive and rebranding it as human rights, all while trying to paint themselves as the usher of a better, inclusive world. The concept and language of gender, especially, is one of those that I had learned about, but this is my first time reading it from an African lens — it was such an enlightening read, thank you!
Your piece is such a beautifully profound meditation on how language shapes our perceptions. Outstanding work.
Thank you so much I really appreciate that. It says a lot that even without using “he” or “she,” just “they” or a person’s name, gender isn’t erased it’s simply not centered. And that absence isn’t a loss; it’s a different way of seeing each other. I’m glad that came through in the piece. 🙏🏾✨
“gender was not a central organizing principle in many African societies before colonial”
I think the history of female genital mutilation going as far back as 25 BCE suggests otherwise.
You’re responding to a post about non-gendered pronouns in African languages which is a linguistic and structural point not a denial of patriarchy or gendered violence. Those realities can (and do) coexist. Language systems lacking gendered pronouns doesn’t mean gender roles or gendered harm didn’t exist. It means they were not always codified the way English or colonial systems demanded.
FGM, which my own family has fought against for generations, reflects social control over assigned-female bodies but that control didn’t always map onto binary gender language or Western frameworks. You’re collapsing different systems language, ritual, power into a single argument that doesn’t hold.
You might want to reread the piece. The nuance is there. The history? Also there. What’s not there is the need to perform superiority in a space where the lived experience already speaks louder. It shows your fragility and limited understanding of a very nuanced piece of writing with books referenced I doubt you have read and your lack… its very loud Liv.
Thank you for this fascinating article! My academic background is in East Asian languages (I’m a native English speaker) and I’ve been amazed at how native English speakers freak out about gender expansive pronouns when there are literally hundreds of languages in which they are simply normal and fundamental. I know little about African languages and this piece was a delicious educational experience to read. ❤️
No
I love how autistics are characterized as rigid and while reading some of the comments, I'm seeing rigidity, but it's not coming from us autistics. Western culture is rife with it.
In reference to your thoughts about how trans people are very attached to their pronouns. To me, this is a trauma response built in a world view that has been shaped to see only 2 options. I am speaking from personal experiences, so my views may not align with others. I used to think if one person was bad, their counterpart must be the good one. Likewise, when I was a teen and feeling very confused about my gender I despised being seen as a girl. I still have stretches of time where I "feel" more male, (whatever the hell that is supposed to feel like anyway) other times I love a good Morticia Adams style dress. I gradually moved into gender fluidity rather than being stuck on one or the other, but someone who is in survival mode, because that's what stress does to us, isn't thinking about more options. They need to fight for what they feel within the available options. Western society dictates there are only 2. So if these individuals had NOT experienced these traumas and societally limiting lived experiences, they may be less reactional about pronouns. They will have already felt SEEN, and no longer feel the need to necessarily cling to an opposite option. It's the act of not being seen. The invalidation. But it is, in my mind, what is directly affected by being misgendered.
As well, someone who absolutely cannot fathom someone NOT feeling intrinsically one or the other won't understand, so the trans person is maybe required to do some mental and emotional gymnastics to validate themselves and explain to others. So we assume because the other can't understand, we must be incorrect and assume the opposite gender role in oder to explain, but now we are putting ourselves in a box too. Because we're denied our self so often, we dig in with our heels and become the epitome of that gender.
Just my ideas, given my experiences in life and how I have sometimes felt so different from what people expected me to feel that if I found ANYTHING that slightly resembled me, I embodied it. Trauma and reactivity. Survival mode creates rigidity and needing to be externally validated. When we are faced with the opposite, we become more insistent on our preferred gender.
So in my opinion, if we embraced more of these so called "primitive cultures" and learned a thing or two from their wisdom, maybe we would heal some wounds, make people feel seen and not NEED to insist someone get our pronouns correct. We would already know our truth.
Complaining WE (autistics) are rigid and needing to put everyone in a defined box is wild to me. The comment about needing to have all this info squared away right at birth got me thinking.
Thank you. This was an extremely interesting and thought provoking article.
Thank you for your thoughtful reflection. I completely understand what you’re saying about the rigidity that can arise from trauma and survival mode. It’s true that trauma responses often push people into the limited binary gender roles provided by society, and that’s a real challenge for many.
However, when discussing rigidity in autistics, it’s important to recognize that this isn’t just about cultural limitations or trauma; it’s a neurological aspect that has been understood and respected throughout history, even in ancient African cultures. IlThe idea of rigidity in thinking, particularly among neurodivergent individuals, isn’t new it’s not only recognized in the DSM but also aligns with how neurodiversity has been understood for centuries. This rigidity isn’t inherently negative; it’s part of how we process the world, and in many cultures, including African ones, it was often seen as an asset rather than a flaw. I research and write about this I might do a podcast or article on this soon.
As for gender, I completely agree that it is expansive. While there is rigidity in how autistics often think, that doesn’t mean we can’t be flexible in our understanding of other concepts, including gender. In fact, many African cultures have long embraced non-binary and fluid gender identities, with the use of “they/them” pronouns being an example of how language itself was structured to reflect a broader, more inclusive understanding of gender. Which was helpful for us autistics too and made us feel supported in community. This fluidity is a part of the richness of African cultural frameworks that challenge the rigid, binary understanding of gender seen in Western society.
So, while we acknowledge the trauma and rigidity that may arise from societal expectations, it’s crucial to honor the expansiveness of gender identities and the long history of fluidity in cultures that didn’t rely on rigid classifications. Autistic thinking may be structured, but that doesn’t preclude a deeper understanding of complexity and diversity whether in gender or other aspects of human experience. The west makes it a choice system when it doesn’t have to be and excludes us on top of it which is traumatic. I look feminine but I act masculine because both exist in me and all humans why do we have to pick and decide and also face mistreatment because of it. That’s why I am inclusive by choice and behaviour exclusionary is a choice I won’t tolerate around me. ❤️🫂
I agree. There are so many factors that all spill into it.
My comment on rigidity though I'm not sure if I was very articulate on. I actually don't feel like our thinking is quite as rigid as we are "made out to be." We are characterized and stereotyped with very rigid behaviours as if those behaviors (wants, needs) don't have any value or reason for being. The same way it is devalued that someone doesn't align with the outward appearance of their sex. I personally believe neurotypicals are just as rigid in their thinking, it's just in differing areas. All of us could work together so much better, everyone filling a different but equally important niche, if we could just acknowledge differences without denoting less worth because they're not OUR group. This kinda goes past gender but fits in that as well.
Anyway I shall shut up now. Thank you so much for your reply. I love reading things that make me dig deep.
No never shut up EVER! Keep talking and speaking and writing because i wanna hear it all. Whoever told you not to speak needs to go away 🫢 people should talk and give context and whoever is confused can ask for clarification. No one has been harmed by context thats why i am here and not twitter anymore abandoning my 20 000 plus followers. I like longform 😭
Wonderful thought-provoking thesis! Your work immediately triggered my response “Gender is a tool of war and domination.”. Many western philosophers studied in the Mystery schools of KMT. I believe Plato studied for over 20 years. So, it is not surprising “Symposium” 385 bc - 370 bc addressed the origin of gender in the Aristophanes myth. Many look to the gender origin story as a quest to find soulmates but the gender split story is far more sinister in this context!
We all know now philosophy and mythology creates the foundation of civilizations. So of course to upend African Civilizations, you must begin at its foundation and destroy and distort their mythologies. I’m reminded of how Cult of Isis (Aset) had the Greeks and Romans in a chokehold for the first century. But I digress. 😉 Just know you’ve added a missing piece to my African Diaspora puzzle of “How the Hell did We Get Here”
Thank you for sharing your knowledge!
Really enjoyed this piece especially since it’s right in the gap-spaces I live every day! You remind me that part of how I managed to have a double life as a teenager was due to the convenient gender-neutral pronouns in Mandarin Chinese haha! I never had to say “he” or “she” and was technically never lying 😅
Jokes aside, French was the first real language I personally had to contend with for the gender thing, particularly nouns. It will never be something normal for me, but it’s produced some interesting conversations as many French speakers have told me for instance, the table is “obviously” feminine (no, it’s not). I will never know what it’s like to actually see the world in such a binary and sometimes wonder if it’s because my native languages didn’t include this base structure (the use of “they” was perfectly acceptable despite it being deemed academically incorrect). Of course people can exist in spite of their own language restrictions but there is something to be said about being an outlier vs. a language having the space for many different versions of people.
LOL at that last part! Thanks for writing even though it’s late! I will be sharing (a lot) 💛
I think Western society has gotten fixated and dependent on assigning so much to us at birth. Gender, economic station, and even our gods. They are all theirs and we are compelled to take what we're "given." The bias they instill wherever possible suggests that they are at the vanguard and other views are primitive, but is that true?
"My point, once again, is not that those ancient people told literal stories and we are now smart enough to take them symbolically, but that they told them symbolically and we are now dumb enough to take them literally." ~ John Dominic Crossan
I think the most jarring revelation I had lately is that we are assigned our gods, too. What would happen if we weren't? What if we were told we had the agency to create and shape and define our own gods, goddesses and godfolx? If we learned we could create our deities, that would mean that, in a sense, we are all Creators - and that we are all sacred, divine, holy and to be revered...but capitalism and colonialism could not withstand such wisdom, can it?
So, instead, all of it is assigned to us, rationed, if you will, like toiletries and striped jumpsuits. Trans folx asserting their identities is a threat because that chips away at the primacy of the assignors.
The wisdom of the ancients may not be recorded on graph paper, and it may not be expressed with the data points that Western academics insist on, but that does not mean it is lagging behind. Some of the false narrative as to what is "primitive" may be owing to a bias for presentation and documentation that confirms to Western standards, but much of it, I am coming around to realize, is owing to a fear of widespread liberation should people come around to respecting both the wisdom and values of "primitive or "ancient" schools of thought that could crush capitalism if they took root.
This all of it! This is exactly it. The West’s obsession with assigning identities at birth—whether gender, social status, or even belief systems comes from a need to control, not from any inherent truth. It’s a rigid framework designed to limit, rather than reflect, the expansiveness of human existence.
Even gender reveals are a strange ritual when you think about it celebrating a child’s private parts before they’ve even had a chance to define themselves. It’s less about honoring life and more about reinforcing a binary system that was never universal to begin with.
The idea that identity, faith, and even autonomy must be assigned rather than discovered is the foundation of colonialism and capitalism—both of which rely on people believing they have no choice but to accept what’s handed to them. But what happens when people refuse? When they reclaim their agency and self-definition? That’s the real threat. Because once people realize they are sacred, divine, and whole on their own terms, the systems built on hierarchy and control start to unravel.
Ancient wisdom isn’t behind—it was simply never meant to be understood through the limited, Western lens that now struggles to catch up.
I was tired writing it but i shall edit later. Professor is a jewel in the field 🙏🏾🩷