Family estrangement isn’t sudden—it’s a consequence of choices made long before. Gene Hackman’s story reveals the reality of dying alone after neglecting emotional bonds. This piece explores why some parents face isolation and what we get wrong about family obligations.
I know we can’t control the actions of our parents neglecting us, but I wish they had not roped in my siblings into the very act itself or made it seem like the act of leaving to protect and preserve myself was an act of betrayal. I wish they had let me have that one thing- a healthy dynamic with my siblings not influenced by their own toxic cycles/beliefs.
How do we cultivate sibling relationships that will hold us together in old age if our own parents had worked overtime to prevent such relationships from seeing the light of day or blossoming? If our own parents constantly create friction and holes in our interactions with our siblings every single time we tried to place a bridge there?
When we were blamed for every mistake, even those made by our siblings. They were never held accountable so when I try to hold them accountable I become the harsh, bad guy who wants to make them subservient to me. How does one go about unburdening such young minds of ancient biases that have nothing to do with them? How do I go about unburdening my own self of the responsibility to fix anyone else but myself?
It would take years and years of therapy. Years and years of prayers and fasting. Years and years of consistent mutual desire to grow a relationship. But who is the model? Who is the figure they would learn from and listen to? Who else asides from me wants to see my siblings and I strengthen our connection? And at what point do they realize that neglecting the connection will not serve them in the long run?
And real, true faith will never manipulate or cause one to question their own reality. Real, true faith is childlike and filled with love. It is not fueled by fear or biases. It is freeing and allows us to see things for what they truly are. It took me a long time to realize this, years of observing my father try to create the family he wanted while going through a pattern of depression and unmet needs. A pattern of regrets and unfulfilled dreams. And I saw how those expectations were in turn placed on my siblings and I.
I have finally reached a place where I know it is what it is and I’m letting things flow naturally despite the unnaturalness of it all. I’m letting things be and stopped trying to fix what I didn’t break. But there is just that tiny aching for a happier sibling relationship, like a lot of other sibling relationships I have observed, that feels so out of reach yet so within reach if only those involved can reach that level of self awareness I am currently at. If only they could finally tap into my frequency. And see each other as the young talented humans that we are, working to make a meaning out of our lives. Love is the only way.
This was absolutely beautiful, especially the part about how bearing childish is rarely selfless.. I’ve always felt this way. And it’s great to see someone sharing this perspective as well.
My father died of cancer in our living room a month after being diagnosed when I was 16, and my mother kicked me out not long after that. I went no contact for a few years then, but reunited and maintained a relationship with her in adulthood. It became evident that in order to maintain that relationship, I would never be able to discuss any of the harm that was done and no responsibility would ever be taken for that harm. I was also never allowed to be my authentic self.
My mother was somehow always the victim of me, her child. She continued to bring things up that happened 30+ years ago, most of which was “normal” teenage behavior. Either way, I was the child and she was the adult.
I have come to realize that my “behavior issues” were attempts at getting her to see me and pay attention. I just wanted to feel loved and understood. Her love was never unconditional. She discarded me at age 16 without looking back. I spent years maintaining a relationship with her to my own detriment. I did that in complete betrayal and sacrifice of my own needs, and she never reciprocated. I made sure to have her in my children’s lives because I thought it was what I was supposed to do. I flew and drove my children out to visit her multiple times a year at great inconvenience and expense to myself. I also realized that grandparent relationships are not the same as parent relationships.
I have been a single parent of 4 for 10 years. I went through a parenting crisis of sorts when my oldest daughter turned 16. I realized that I had no road map for parenting anyone past 16, not even a “bad” roadmap. I knew that my experience as a 16 year old was not healthy (or typical) but I had no idea what a healthy parent-child relationship looked like through the teen years (or any years for that matter).
Parenting my own child at age 16 opened my eyes to the point that I could no longer accept or excuse my mother’s behavior. I could no longer stay silent. I gave her one last chance to take even a small shred of responsibility, after ignoring her on a trial basis for a few months while I processed my feelings. She pushed and pushed and finally said “you know how to get a hold of me when you’re ready to talk about this” I never got a hold of her again and blocked her on all fronts. Before doing that I gave her one last chance to take even a small amount of responsibility and she absolutely refused. I went no contact with her 3 years ago. I have had a much more peaceful existence since then. I’m peaceful in knowing that I did my best and I gave her way too many chances before going no contact .
I could not imagine ever wanting to discard any of my children, even though parenting them with no family, and very little community support has been extremely challenging. I’m AuDHD and my children have various flavors of neurodivergence as well. I have done my best to parent my children as the parent I always wanted. Sometimes that isn’t in line with what my children need. I try to regularly check in with them and ask them what they need from me. I try to know and love them for who they are, regardless of any hopes I may have placed on them. I hope that I can do enough to break the cycles I was born into. I try like hell every day. If I make a mistake (and I do make mistakes) I apologize and take responsibility for the harm done. My children are amazing human beings and I am lucky to be able to help them make their way through this world. Most days I am exhausted and my to do list is never done. I never feel like I am doing enough no matter how much I do, but I will never stop trying. Thank you for listening. This has inspired me to want to share my own story more.
My mother has late stage dementia. I am an only child and have been caring for her for years. This has been the most difficult time in my life, in more ways than I could ever have imagined.
I finally chose to place her in assisted living memory care. I visit her frequently, but the option to put space between her and myself is life-saving.
It generally is… forced to care for someone you may not have had a great relationship with. All you who shared these stories are different to me in ways and alike in others. I personally wouldn’t return close to mine for countless reasons but having to care for her as she navigates forgetting and remembering is not for me.
Thank you for affirming. I am glad when parents find it and let me know it provides a balm of sorts. You are valid and we do better for the kids in our lives and community. 🫶🏾✨
I've been struggling with this subject lately. I haven't been able to put my feelings in words but you nailed it. You made it so clear and obvious and now I feel less crazy than before. (Forgive me my bad English, I hope my message came through anyway.) Thank you!
It took me a long time to finally get to where I did. And the irony is, I have a lot of love for two people I had to leave behind, who made violent choice, all in order --to heal me. They cannot be part of my story anymore, but it was never an easy decision. Those who supported me, I am grateful for the "village" and there were those who condemned & just couldn't get it, and that can be harder to heal sometimes. Parenting is an investment, yes, and so is being "the village" --I'm not a parent, but I am an auntie, the adult, coach, etc and perhaps I became who truly raised me and supported me. We, those of us who take on healing, must recalibrate ourselves to help our kids become a generation of healing as we do that same in every role. <3
This! Everyone can’t be part of your journey but guess who never abandons you or shall feel abandoned as you exit those spaces? Your inner child and teen. Finally breathing free that they have you. 🫶🏾
As a Kenyan, I deeply resonate with the themes presented in the article, which sheds light on the painful realities of parental abuse and neglect. The narrative reflects a societal issue that many grapple with in silence, exploring the complex dynamics of familial relationships and the burdens placed on children due to their parents' shortcomings.
Your article articulates the harsh truth that parental love is often conditional, with an expectation that children owe their existence to their parents. This manipulation is prevalent in our culture, where the idea that children must support their parents—regardless of the emotional scars they carry—creates a toxic environment. The intertwining of religion and familial duty further exacerbates this issue, transforming respect and honor into chains that bind us to our painful past.
As someone who has chosen to remain childfree, I am acutely aware of the consequences of unprepared parenthood. Bringing children into this world without the readiness to nurture them perpetuates a cycle of trauma that damages innocent lives and reflects a society that often neglects its most vulnerable members.
This article gives voice to the silent struggles of many who feel trapped in a system prioritizing familial loyalty over personal healing. It serves as a powerful call for change, urging us to confront uncomfortable truths about parental responsibility and societal expectations. It is crucial that we speak out against the normalization of neglect and abuse, advocating for a generation that deserves better.
This piece should be widely circulated to spark conversations that challenge the status quo. While we honor our parents, we are not obligated to carry the weight of their failures. We must strive to break the cycle and foster an environment where love is unconditional and nurturing is essential.
Your article masterfully articulates a narrative that is both personal and universal. It serves as a beacon of hope for those dreaming of a better future. Let us amplify this message and work towards a society where every child can thrive, free from the shadows of neglect and abuse.
I didn't read this immediately because I knew it was going to be heavy. Thank you. I am reminded of how my parents assured me of how lucky i was to have them and not "those kinds of parents..." (the type who celebrate when their children move out) as they were removing my bedroom from the family "home" that I had helped build. I had been 6 when I nailed the nails into the floor of my own bedroom. It only took them a week to get it removed and renovated.
I began playing guitar at age 8, so i could be like my dad. He stopped playing when i was about 17 or 18. I had my suspicions, but never voiced them. Later he admitted to my child that he had stopped playing guitar when I got better than him. As if it was a competition. I became the next in a line of abusers. I have never intentionally harmed my child but neglect is neglect and bad behavior is never acceptable. I repeated patterns thinking that was how love was shown. I changed my ways after exiting an abusive relationship but the damage was done and now THEY have to deal with that. A burden they never asked for, the same as me. They are going to be 20 in July. They've only really had a parent for the last 4 years. Autism, ADHD, CPTSD, a host of other letters and diagnoses cause me to be distant, but I try. I try to understand their experience now. Understand what interests them, helps them.
Children do not gain resilience by not sparing the rod. They gain resentment. My father died in 2023. I was asked by multiple people to go and say goodbye, but I stayed firm and did not attend. It is over a year and I grow more and more peaceful with that decision.
A tearful but grateful thank you for bearing your scars to help others feel less lost and alone!!
Alex, thank you for sharing this with such clarity and honesty. I could feel the weight of it in every line. I want to say this gently: your child is not just your responsibility they’re also your reflection. And you’re right that the legacy of harm doesn’t begin with you, but you’ve made the conscious decision not to pass it forward in the same form. That matters.😭🙏🏾
Some parents reject their children not because of who the child is, but because they’re forced to witness a reflection of the very parts of themselves that were never celebrated. The joy, creativity, or emotional intelligence they buried to survive. And when they see those traits thrive in someone else, it triggers something unresolved. Others like you try to do better, try to break the cycle, and in doing so land on being human. Not perfect. Human who take accountability thats actually rare.
You named your patterns, took accountability, and began showing up differently. That shift, especially when parenting a neurodivergent child, is not small. It’s years of undoing what was modeled as love, control, or care. Your child may not remember the exact moment that shift happened but they’ll feel its effects long after.
And that decision to not attend your father’s final moment? That, too, is a form of healing. Of honoring the self that was never protected. Some goodbyes are better said to the pattern than to the person. I told mine when she threathened me during no contact not to come to her funeral that its alright she died long before her physical death for me.
I see the effort. I see the grief behind it. I can only speak of what I observe in what you say and I am not your child yo give you feedback on parenting but I see your reflections. And I’m glad you found something in my writing that reminded you that you’re not alone. 🙏🏾🫂
Hi Emma! I just saw your comment after replying to your restacked note, thank you for your words. Sending strength to both of us on our respective journeys, and to you in motherhood as well. It’s beautiful to witness. 🩷
I appreciate YOU and every single person who reads, engages, and shares their thoughts. Every response is part of the conversation, and even the unkind ones people have written to me in pain, in its own way, pain has a way of transforming in time. Thank you 🙏🏾
You better not! If I hadn’t read others’ Substacks and found the courage to unpack and share, I wouldn’t have written this essay it’s so different from what I put in my books. I know you have so much inside you waiting to be shared the happy, the mundane, the deep, and the raw. So write. Write the long and the short. Keep going. We’re ready for it. ✨
A good reminder to show love and don’t assume that your actions are perceived the same as you want them to be. Mom of three neurodivergent children. Neurodivergent myself.
Absolutely. Love isn’t just about intention it’s about how it’s received. And when neurodivergence is in the mix, communication and perception can be so different from what we assume. I appreciate you sharing raising three neurodivergent children while navigating your own neurodivergence is no small thing. It’s a constant process of learning, unlearning, and making space for understanding in ways that truly resonate. 🩷
People look at me with horror and judgement when I let it slip that I purposefully haven’t known my parents since I was 18. Nor did I let them near my daughters. I very much appreciate this article, especially so I can marinate on my behavior with my own kids and conquer any hidden, insidious conditioning from my early years. Thank you.
Your honesty is necessary. I wouldn't say you let it slip, you told your truth in a moment you thought it was safe to do so. And they betrayed that truth. As someone who said goodbye to mine over a decade ago, you're not alone, it's never easy, and each day you navigate that "death" you get to renew *your* -- Life. May you find each day a little easier among those who surrounded you.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation for the boundaries you set to protect yourself and your children. People project their own experiences and expectations onto others, but only you know what was necessary for your well-being. I appreciate you sharing this, and I hope the article gives you space to reflect without judgment just awareness and self-compassion. Undoing deep conditioning isn’t easy, but recognizing it is already a powerful step forward. ❤️
I know we can’t control the actions of our parents neglecting us, but I wish they had not roped in my siblings into the very act itself or made it seem like the act of leaving to protect and preserve myself was an act of betrayal. I wish they had let me have that one thing- a healthy dynamic with my siblings not influenced by their own toxic cycles/beliefs.
How do we cultivate sibling relationships that will hold us together in old age if our own parents had worked overtime to prevent such relationships from seeing the light of day or blossoming? If our own parents constantly create friction and holes in our interactions with our siblings every single time we tried to place a bridge there?
When we were blamed for every mistake, even those made by our siblings. They were never held accountable so when I try to hold them accountable I become the harsh, bad guy who wants to make them subservient to me. How does one go about unburdening such young minds of ancient biases that have nothing to do with them? How do I go about unburdening my own self of the responsibility to fix anyone else but myself?
It would take years and years of therapy. Years and years of prayers and fasting. Years and years of consistent mutual desire to grow a relationship. But who is the model? Who is the figure they would learn from and listen to? Who else asides from me wants to see my siblings and I strengthen our connection? And at what point do they realize that neglecting the connection will not serve them in the long run?
And real, true faith will never manipulate or cause one to question their own reality. Real, true faith is childlike and filled with love. It is not fueled by fear or biases. It is freeing and allows us to see things for what they truly are. It took me a long time to realize this, years of observing my father try to create the family he wanted while going through a pattern of depression and unmet needs. A pattern of regrets and unfulfilled dreams. And I saw how those expectations were in turn placed on my siblings and I.
I have finally reached a place where I know it is what it is and I’m letting things flow naturally despite the unnaturalness of it all. I’m letting things be and stopped trying to fix what I didn’t break. But there is just that tiny aching for a happier sibling relationship, like a lot of other sibling relationships I have observed, that feels so out of reach yet so within reach if only those involved can reach that level of self awareness I am currently at. If only they could finally tap into my frequency. And see each other as the young talented humans that we are, working to make a meaning out of our lives. Love is the only way.
I'm sorry you went through this. Beautifully written. 👏
Thank you.
You're welcome 🙏
This was absolutely beautiful, especially the part about how bearing childish is rarely selfless.. I’ve always felt this way. And it’s great to see someone sharing this perspective as well.
Thank you so much for sharing this!
My father died of cancer in our living room a month after being diagnosed when I was 16, and my mother kicked me out not long after that. I went no contact for a few years then, but reunited and maintained a relationship with her in adulthood. It became evident that in order to maintain that relationship, I would never be able to discuss any of the harm that was done and no responsibility would ever be taken for that harm. I was also never allowed to be my authentic self.
My mother was somehow always the victim of me, her child. She continued to bring things up that happened 30+ years ago, most of which was “normal” teenage behavior. Either way, I was the child and she was the adult.
I have come to realize that my “behavior issues” were attempts at getting her to see me and pay attention. I just wanted to feel loved and understood. Her love was never unconditional. She discarded me at age 16 without looking back. I spent years maintaining a relationship with her to my own detriment. I did that in complete betrayal and sacrifice of my own needs, and she never reciprocated. I made sure to have her in my children’s lives because I thought it was what I was supposed to do. I flew and drove my children out to visit her multiple times a year at great inconvenience and expense to myself. I also realized that grandparent relationships are not the same as parent relationships.
I have been a single parent of 4 for 10 years. I went through a parenting crisis of sorts when my oldest daughter turned 16. I realized that I had no road map for parenting anyone past 16, not even a “bad” roadmap. I knew that my experience as a 16 year old was not healthy (or typical) but I had no idea what a healthy parent-child relationship looked like through the teen years (or any years for that matter).
Parenting my own child at age 16 opened my eyes to the point that I could no longer accept or excuse my mother’s behavior. I could no longer stay silent. I gave her one last chance to take even a small shred of responsibility, after ignoring her on a trial basis for a few months while I processed my feelings. She pushed and pushed and finally said “you know how to get a hold of me when you’re ready to talk about this” I never got a hold of her again and blocked her on all fronts. Before doing that I gave her one last chance to take even a small amount of responsibility and she absolutely refused. I went no contact with her 3 years ago. I have had a much more peaceful existence since then. I’m peaceful in knowing that I did my best and I gave her way too many chances before going no contact .
I could not imagine ever wanting to discard any of my children, even though parenting them with no family, and very little community support has been extremely challenging. I’m AuDHD and my children have various flavors of neurodivergence as well. I have done my best to parent my children as the parent I always wanted. Sometimes that isn’t in line with what my children need. I try to regularly check in with them and ask them what they need from me. I try to know and love them for who they are, regardless of any hopes I may have placed on them. I hope that I can do enough to break the cycles I was born into. I try like hell every day. If I make a mistake (and I do make mistakes) I apologize and take responsibility for the harm done. My children are amazing human beings and I am lucky to be able to help them make their way through this world. Most days I am exhausted and my to do list is never done. I never feel like I am doing enough no matter how much I do, but I will never stop trying. Thank you for listening. This has inspired me to want to share my own story more.
Your children are amazing because you did what your mother couldn’t.
You met her more than halfway as a kid and when it became clear she couldn’t or wouldn’t meet you there,
you turned back toward your inner child and chose to heal.
If you had kept chasing someone unmeetable, there would’ve been nothing left to give your own children.
They’re thriving because you were accountable.
Because you apologized when needed.
Because you protected them from harm even when that harm was tied to your own history.
That’s not just parenting.
That’s cycle-breaking.
And your children are the living proof.
My mother has late stage dementia. I am an only child and have been caring for her for years. This has been the most difficult time in my life, in more ways than I could ever have imagined.
I finally chose to place her in assisted living memory care. I visit her frequently, but the option to put space between her and myself is life-saving.
It generally is… forced to care for someone you may not have had a great relationship with. All you who shared these stories are different to me in ways and alike in others. I personally wouldn’t return close to mine for countless reasons but having to care for her as she navigates forgetting and remembering is not for me.
This was both a balm and a call/reminder as a mother. Thank you 🙏🏾
Thank you for affirming. I am glad when parents find it and let me know it provides a balm of sorts. You are valid and we do better for the kids in our lives and community. 🫶🏾✨
I've been struggling with this subject lately. I haven't been able to put my feelings in words but you nailed it. You made it so clear and obvious and now I feel less crazy than before. (Forgive me my bad English, I hope my message came through anyway.) Thank you!
Your message is loud and clear! Thank you for affirming my work and writing is reaching the people that need it the most. 🫶🏾✨
It took me a long time to finally get to where I did. And the irony is, I have a lot of love for two people I had to leave behind, who made violent choice, all in order --to heal me. They cannot be part of my story anymore, but it was never an easy decision. Those who supported me, I am grateful for the "village" and there were those who condemned & just couldn't get it, and that can be harder to heal sometimes. Parenting is an investment, yes, and so is being "the village" --I'm not a parent, but I am an auntie, the adult, coach, etc and perhaps I became who truly raised me and supported me. We, those of us who take on healing, must recalibrate ourselves to help our kids become a generation of healing as we do that same in every role. <3
This! Everyone can’t be part of your journey but guess who never abandons you or shall feel abandoned as you exit those spaces? Your inner child and teen. Finally breathing free that they have you. 🫶🏾
As a Kenyan, I deeply resonate with the themes presented in the article, which sheds light on the painful realities of parental abuse and neglect. The narrative reflects a societal issue that many grapple with in silence, exploring the complex dynamics of familial relationships and the burdens placed on children due to their parents' shortcomings.
Your article articulates the harsh truth that parental love is often conditional, with an expectation that children owe their existence to their parents. This manipulation is prevalent in our culture, where the idea that children must support their parents—regardless of the emotional scars they carry—creates a toxic environment. The intertwining of religion and familial duty further exacerbates this issue, transforming respect and honor into chains that bind us to our painful past.
As someone who has chosen to remain childfree, I am acutely aware of the consequences of unprepared parenthood. Bringing children into this world without the readiness to nurture them perpetuates a cycle of trauma that damages innocent lives and reflects a society that often neglects its most vulnerable members.
This article gives voice to the silent struggles of many who feel trapped in a system prioritizing familial loyalty over personal healing. It serves as a powerful call for change, urging us to confront uncomfortable truths about parental responsibility and societal expectations. It is crucial that we speak out against the normalization of neglect and abuse, advocating for a generation that deserves better.
This piece should be widely circulated to spark conversations that challenge the status quo. While we honor our parents, we are not obligated to carry the weight of their failures. We must strive to break the cycle and foster an environment where love is unconditional and nurturing is essential.
Your article masterfully articulates a narrative that is both personal and universal. It serves as a beacon of hope for those dreaming of a better future. Let us amplify this message and work towards a society where every child can thrive, free from the shadows of neglect and abuse.
I didn't read this immediately because I knew it was going to be heavy. Thank you. I am reminded of how my parents assured me of how lucky i was to have them and not "those kinds of parents..." (the type who celebrate when their children move out) as they were removing my bedroom from the family "home" that I had helped build. I had been 6 when I nailed the nails into the floor of my own bedroom. It only took them a week to get it removed and renovated.
I began playing guitar at age 8, so i could be like my dad. He stopped playing when i was about 17 or 18. I had my suspicions, but never voiced them. Later he admitted to my child that he had stopped playing guitar when I got better than him. As if it was a competition. I became the next in a line of abusers. I have never intentionally harmed my child but neglect is neglect and bad behavior is never acceptable. I repeated patterns thinking that was how love was shown. I changed my ways after exiting an abusive relationship but the damage was done and now THEY have to deal with that. A burden they never asked for, the same as me. They are going to be 20 in July. They've only really had a parent for the last 4 years. Autism, ADHD, CPTSD, a host of other letters and diagnoses cause me to be distant, but I try. I try to understand their experience now. Understand what interests them, helps them.
Children do not gain resilience by not sparing the rod. They gain resentment. My father died in 2023. I was asked by multiple people to go and say goodbye, but I stayed firm and did not attend. It is over a year and I grow more and more peaceful with that decision.
A tearful but grateful thank you for bearing your scars to help others feel less lost and alone!!
Alex, thank you for sharing this with such clarity and honesty. I could feel the weight of it in every line. I want to say this gently: your child is not just your responsibility they’re also your reflection. And you’re right that the legacy of harm doesn’t begin with you, but you’ve made the conscious decision not to pass it forward in the same form. That matters.😭🙏🏾
Some parents reject their children not because of who the child is, but because they’re forced to witness a reflection of the very parts of themselves that were never celebrated. The joy, creativity, or emotional intelligence they buried to survive. And when they see those traits thrive in someone else, it triggers something unresolved. Others like you try to do better, try to break the cycle, and in doing so land on being human. Not perfect. Human who take accountability thats actually rare.
You named your patterns, took accountability, and began showing up differently. That shift, especially when parenting a neurodivergent child, is not small. It’s years of undoing what was modeled as love, control, or care. Your child may not remember the exact moment that shift happened but they’ll feel its effects long after.
And that decision to not attend your father’s final moment? That, too, is a form of healing. Of honoring the self that was never protected. Some goodbyes are better said to the pattern than to the person. I told mine when she threathened me during no contact not to come to her funeral that its alright she died long before her physical death for me.
I see the effort. I see the grief behind it. I can only speak of what I observe in what you say and I am not your child yo give you feedback on parenting but I see your reflections. And I’m glad you found something in my writing that reminded you that you’re not alone. 🙏🏾🫂
Thank you for writing this, as the child in the estrangement it was super helpful. I appreciate your words!
Hi Emma! I just saw your comment after replying to your restacked note, thank you for your words. Sending strength to both of us on our respective journeys, and to you in motherhood as well. It’s beautiful to witness. 🩷
Thank you for writing this.
Thank you for reading ✨🩷
Thank you for this, Lovette! X
I appreciate this essay very much. Thank you! 🙏
I appreciate YOU and every single person who reads, engages, and shares their thoughts. Every response is part of the conversation, and even the unkind ones people have written to me in pain, in its own way, pain has a way of transforming in time. Thank you 🙏🏾
Ok I’m gonna pack up my substack now cause I’ll never write something this profound.
You better not! If I hadn’t read others’ Substacks and found the courage to unpack and share, I wouldn’t have written this essay it’s so different from what I put in my books. I know you have so much inside you waiting to be shared the happy, the mundane, the deep, and the raw. So write. Write the long and the short. Keep going. We’re ready for it. ✨
A good reminder to show love and don’t assume that your actions are perceived the same as you want them to be. Mom of three neurodivergent children. Neurodivergent myself.
Absolutely. Love isn’t just about intention it’s about how it’s received. And when neurodivergence is in the mix, communication and perception can be so different from what we assume. I appreciate you sharing raising three neurodivergent children while navigating your own neurodivergence is no small thing. It’s a constant process of learning, unlearning, and making space for understanding in ways that truly resonate. 🩷
People look at me with horror and judgement when I let it slip that I purposefully haven’t known my parents since I was 18. Nor did I let them near my daughters. I very much appreciate this article, especially so I can marinate on my behavior with my own kids and conquer any hidden, insidious conditioning from my early years. Thank you.
Your honesty is necessary. I wouldn't say you let it slip, you told your truth in a moment you thought it was safe to do so. And they betrayed that truth. As someone who said goodbye to mine over a decade ago, you're not alone, it's never easy, and each day you navigate that "death" you get to renew *your* -- Life. May you find each day a little easier among those who surrounded you.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation for the boundaries you set to protect yourself and your children. People project their own experiences and expectations onto others, but only you know what was necessary for your well-being. I appreciate you sharing this, and I hope the article gives you space to reflect without judgment just awareness and self-compassion. Undoing deep conditioning isn’t easy, but recognizing it is already a powerful step forward. ❤️
It did, thank you.